“So again all of this returns as an emotion which is a stimulant…”

Each of us experiences events which change our lives. We think of these events as somewhat rare and can usually count them on one hand. If we take a closer look however, we will notice that we experience life-altering events day after day, hour after hour.

For example, for years I have remembered a time on the playground of my kindergarten when I was fearful of several children. It was around the sliding board and I just knew that something bad was going to happen. It didn’t. Nothing really bad ever happened in kindergarten. Nothing bad ever happened to me, period. So why did I live for many years with a sense of dread? What pattern did I establish for myself so that I blocked the proper energy flow of my body?

I can remember that kindergarten event. I can remember several similar events in elementary school, high school, college and my professional life. So what? We all have those memories which come and go constantly, don’t we? Yes. That’s the point. These memories keep coming back to us over and over to signal a pattern. They are red flags waving for our attention. They are showing the way to emotional blockages associated with life patterns which we have adopted, practiced and taken on as our reactionary method of facing the day. As I said earlier, when discussing habit, when we encounter similar situations we call upon our trusted reactions to meet the challenge of the moment.

The emotion associated with these patterns serves as the energy cornerstone for the structure of illness. When I feel insecure or fearful, I have unwittingly gathered available energy and shaped it into a roadblock along the energy pathways of my body. Energy plus fear, anger and the like equals a blockage. That blockage is as real as a clot or tumor. In fact such physical manifestations begin as such. I know, I know… some of us are genetically predisposed to such problems. That is no doubt true. But twins more often than not do not suffer from the same maladies. Certain people feed their bodies with a wonderful diet and nevertheless manifest cancer while others abuse their bodies and stay cancer-free. There has to be another factor involved. My experience has proven to me that the X factor is emotion…emotion driven by intent.

All energy is of God. God’s energy is meant to flow freely. When we block the free flowing of that gift, we are no longer nurturing the intended path of the energy and we are thus altering the perfect pattern. Our intent opens and closes the path. With our minds, we create patterns of reaction which shape God’s energy into manifestation.

Do this. Hold your breath for ten seconds and notice the changes in your physical body.

Holding your energy flow for ten seconds does the same. Anger, fear, indecision, doubt…any lack of joy will cause a back up. If this back up, this wall, this blockage is fed by repetitious patterns of reaction, the blockage may as well be made of stone. Whatever blockage was reawakened or given original life on my kindergarten playground was given new life and greater substance each time that I applied the same reaction to a new event.

The kindergarten memory resurfaced over and over, trying to alert me to a pattern which was self-destructive. Each time, I treated the memory as if it meant nothing. In a split-second I pushed it away and refocused upon the task at hand. But it did mean something. A blockage was being called to my attention and I was not addressing and balancing with it. I was not removing it.

This is hard to do. Try it. Think of an unpleasant memory. Don’t you feel your body shift? Now think of a similarly unpleasant event and remain open and flowing. Did you catch yourself altering the shift?

My kindergarten memory was not the problem. It was the underlying belief of unworthiness…the doubt and fear…which I applied to that event. Then I would employ the substance at hand. Yes, the substance at hand…emotion…and I would build the blocks which would eventually outweigh my balance. Emotion is a substance. It becomes a substance when we gather energy and use it to shape our being. Emotion becomes a referential material. Emotion is employed to illuminate a point of reference. Emotion is akin to a clarion call shouting, “Look over here! Look closer and deeper. The pattern that you seek to balance is calling to you. It’s here. Recognize it and lovingly embrace this portion of yourself that is in need of your love.”

I can choose to ignore that call. I can remain “sick.” I can time and again repeat the pattern. I could even “bury my emotion” and think of it as an enemy to be avoided at all costs.

But I should not wish to be emotionless. I should not wish to be devoid of this reference material. I could anesthetize my self in some way. I could build a figurative or literal protective wall. I could avoid those things which unbalance me. That may be acceptable in the short-term as I try to make sense of upheaval. But the events or circumstances which shake me are not the underlying cause. And to think of emotion as the enemy is to take away a tool, a material to be applied with joyful fascination. I must also forgive self for seeking safety along a path which is at present, just out of focus.

Emotion is a tool of substance. Emotion is a tool of self discovery and expression. As with any tool is must be properly applied. A tool may lie dormant on the shelf and do no harm. But it is also an unused opportunity as such. A tool used carelessly will reap careless results. Since emotion is coalesced energy, bound by intent, there is great potential here.

When I attempt to “control my emotions” I am merely seeking to channel this gathered energy in a fashion which will bring balance. When I am involved in a conflict, I am in a sea of errant emotions. When I am in conflict with my life purpose the same is true. What am I to do? How do I use this to nurture my growth?

Again, as always, prayer and meditation will show the way.

Revisit the events of the day. Revisit the events of your life in general to identify the patterns that replay over and over. I have found that I applied some degree of emotion to each event and pattern. Over time I came to understand that such events and the resulting emotional reactions served as a reference for identifying and balancing with my doubts and fears.

Why did I attract such events? For reference and understanding. I learned that in each case, an underlying pattern of unworthiness would be brought to the surface by some catalyst and I would react in a fearful fashion. I would use emotion to cement an energetic blockage which would in turn cause a physical manifestation.

For me, it was gastrointestinal distress. It’s where my energetic superhighway had been constructed. I would respond with doubt, anger or embarrassment to my initial reaction and start the cycle over again.

Over time, in one fashion or another, I would release the emotion, the emotional blockage, from my system and attempt to return to “normalcy.” Some would say that I had “recovered.” I had, for the time being. However, I had merely released the emotion, the substance which gathered as a reaction. I had not dealt with the underlying causes of the blockages; my doubt and fear. So, soon another trigger would be encountered, the underlying unbalanced pattern would manifest, emotion would block an energy passageway, and history would repeat itself. This would replay, day after day, year after year.

So I learned through prayer and meditation to open all blocked passageways and to allow all energy to flow. I recovered my life’s purpose and in doing so, I was balanced. Emotion became a tool. It was no longer errant.

Embrace emotion and recognize it as real, substantive, and as an instrument of awakening. When in situations of high emotion, detach as much as possible, and peer through the dense energetic fog of the event to find the underlying portion of self which is in need of balance. When it is identified, allow the gathered emotion to merely dissipate. Replace it with the purest form of God’s energy. Allow Love to manifest. Recognize the event as a gift of awakening.

Forgive self in every way and know that we truly are children of God moving along a path of self-knowing, each serving to illuminate the path of return for one another.